Douche Recovery: Admitting the Hate.

Over the last 3 months there have been at least 15 attacks on gay people in the Northern Cape. In the most recent attack Miss Gay Kuruman winner 23 year old Thapelo Makutle’s throat was allegedly cut so viciously that his head was almost completely removed after an argument with 2 straight men about his sexuality.

This is the front page article of Exit Newspaper and how can it not be shocking. But sitting at my desk with a view of the ocean I feel somewhat removed from the entire incident, and that is partly where the problem comes in for me – that it’s over there. I have been prive to enough bashings but none to such a severity, in my case I was slapped around or on the odd occasion punched till I bled. But here Thapelo was murdered and his genitals were still cut from his body and shoved in his mouth (which is gross evidence of the underlying hate). So why is it worse in some places than others?

Some might want to blame the wave of Traditional Healers opting to alter the constitution to best suite them. However, I was present at the 2008 Pride in Johannesburg CBD where bricks were hurled at us from some ten floors up, shattering on the floor sending a chard in the air slicing the neck of a young lady in front of us. Therefore I cannot blame recent animosity on recent activity, alone. It’s been around for a while but it’s only getting worse.

The problem is that the constitution is a written thing and therefore, taking emotion into account, is a thought out and logical concept. So to spite the fact that the law is there to protect us, it really on serves to bring justice and let’s face it, isn’t prevention better than cure. So the idea is there, yay, but the feeling somewhere along the line is not.

so what happened is that equality comes up as more of a suggestion rather than a society, our society’s, ruling on how we should behave and tat each other. So when will this elusive equality be instilled?

Hate is an emotion and is very much part of us the way love is a part of us. But how we use these emotions is the important factor, or is it a case of our emotions leading us? If we do not control ourselves we allow our emotions to grow into something uncontainable and down right crazy. Just think of a time you were so in love yet all your actions were just crazy. Does that mean that the love is not real? No, it means you can’t handle that kind of emotion, you are not mature enough. And maturity comes from understanding.

I hate guys that don’t want to sleep with me. I hate guys that try.
I hate men who objectify women. And i hate women who refuse to objectify men.
I hate smoking sections… Anywhere. I hate it when a disgusting smoker cant sit through dinner without a smoke. I hate it when you tell me smoking is disgusting, with your Big Mac in one hand and a super sized coke in the other. And I hate that I smoke.
I hate capitalism.
I hate car guards. I hate petrol attendants. I hate those bitches that work behind the till in the grocery store. I hate fat traffic cops. I hate thin chefs. I hate waitrons with long hair. I hate hairdressers with none.
I hate Bollywood, it’s just too damn much. And what’s up with the over the top film in a place of such gross poverty? I hate big budget films. I hate Transformers… Every single fucking one of them. I hate that Fox woman, even I want to fuck her she’s so hot.
I hate a blaze of heat without a way of cooling down. I hate the cold and the constant struggle to find some warmth. I hate those single giant clouds that hinders me from having an otherwise sun filled day. I hate a grey cloud-covered sky without a single damn rain drop.
I hate fat that whines about their inner beauty. I hate muscles that can only talk about food, what to eat, when to eat and how much.
I hate Idiots that say “oh, no thanks, I don’t drink”. And I hate hearing the moron that cant handle his booze shout out at everyone obnoxiously.
I hate it when you speak to me in a language that isn’t English. And I hate your thick accent when you speak English. And I hate that I can only really speak fucking English.
I hate ignorant whites who complain too much and do too little. I hate arrogant blacks that do even less. I hate bossy women. In fact, sometimes I hate all women – oh, hey, guys, let’s help out with that whole feminist movement, equality is great, only a women has proved she can do everything a man can do, behave like a heartless cunt. I’m waiting for the delightful change feminism was suppose to bring about. I hate waiting. I hate spare time.
I hate advertising.
I hate adverts that push the happy family myth especially on late night television when those happy families should be fast fucking asleep. I hate stupid ads that rhyme or have some lame ass fucking jingle.
I hate that the world is changing so fast.
And I hate it when time seems to stand still.
I hate you for reading this and agreeing to anything I have had to say because I hate myself for being a douche bag and focusing on the hate.
Why not write a piece on the things I love… Because I would hate that

So when you look at hate, it is prevalent in all of us whether we admit it or not. The latter usually ends in the person acting out in spite of the denial so what’s the harm in simply saying it out loud, or writing it down? But the critical difference from being a person who feels to a criminal who acts is how we choose to release this hate. Even when I re-read it, it sounds crazy but as logic comes back to my head and my years of maturing come into play, it is evident that acting on any of what I just mentioned would not only be wrong but incredibly stupid. And life is far too short for stupidity.

As my brush up with the LGBTI news continued I came across a story that really takes hold of the problem in question and brings it in from over there, to right under our noses. And these two incidence are all in the span of a few weeks of each other… Tell me it’s not getting worse?
In Johannesburg, the Carlton Centre, a woman was beaten senseless by three men working in the centre as security guards. The men beat her because she kissed her girlfriend, and what seems to be popular consensus in the black community (from rural to urban) is that lesbianism can be cured through brute force and often rape. Now the security company, Protection Services, has threatened to countersue Mtshali (the woman beaten senseless) for allegedly scratching one of the men during the attack. Even when the police arrived the women were harshly recommended not to press charges. So here we have security guards, men paid to protect and trained to defend or attack, using their skills on a woman for no other reason than their own stupidity? But who is the one to deal with the after math? Mtshali. And why should we, as the LGBTI community, have to deal with the straights inability to feel compassion or have some tolerance?

So at what point is enough enough?
The law is behind these people, behind us, but for some reason the constitution seems more and more futile, just words on a piece of paper. At what point will someone, not from the LGBTI community, stand up and say “No, this is not the kind of behavior I condone in a country I call my own.”
Where are our leaders? because your ignorant, cruel and heartless people need some leadership!
What can you do?
Stopping the hate starts with you. Admit that you hate, even just a little, it’s ok. But it’s not ok to make that emotion a reality, not only for yourself but for anyone who might be involved in your heat wave of hate. Then you need to speak out about hate you come into contact with. Let’s all take a leap into 2012, homophobia is so old school and hate crimes are a disgusting display of the lack of forward thinking a progressive and developing society needs.

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One thought on “Douche Recovery: Admitting the Hate.

  1. 241gml says:

    WOW!?! Pretty powerful words!

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