Monthly Archives: February 2013

Something a little Old – but Unsolved

Tis the season to be jolly?

Walking through the mall, I am met full-force by the on set of the festive season. Merry this and jolly that, ho-ho-ho and a happy kinda red and green, and a few more eye sore decoration go by before: “Can I interest you in a lovely gift for your wife?” I hold back from just ripping the stupid little sales girl a new hol-d-on a second, as a news headline – ever so small yet unavoidable to the trained headline spotter – on a newspaper alongside the frightening filler gifts states: “Police admit there is a gay serial killer.” What? Only now. Okay, at least they are admitting it, lets be grateful for the first steps towards recovery, even if they may be juvenile in their pace.

What’s the Ho-Down?

So if you don’t know let me get you up to speed: for almost two years now gay guys have been turning up dead in very much a similar pattern. Something that appears to be a casual hook up has turned into the last hook up for some of these poor individuals. So what are we left to deduce from this? Are we to blame for or callus behavior when it comes to taking a trick home with us? Although it would be unfair to lambaste these events as tricks when they all seem to stem from online hook-ups, which is a totally different thing, in the sense that you get to, sort of, know the guy before you decide to take him home. From my experience, men tend to gravitate towards online hooks ups for the basic anonymity of it all. Apparently a real person is a turn off compared to what your mind can create yet, ironically enough, as much as you make believe the man to be more than he actually is, the truth of it is you are still having sex with the man as he is, and you will only come to realise this next week when he is standing at the bar with all his other queen friends and he is hardly the power top you initially envisioned. But I’m side lining here, it’s this ridiculous notion of anonymity that creates such a volatile space in which a dangerous game of cat and mouse can play out in full fruition. So what’s the solution? Maybe, with all this Christmas ho-show-down, the truth lies behind the homosexuality imbedded in the nativity scene? Wait? What? Homosexuality? Where? Well, gentlemen, if you think that those wise men kicking back with each other on camel back staring up at the stars didn’t bump uglies on more than one occasion then you are romanticizing a world where the birth barn didn’t smell like a barn. And I’m sure it did. As I am sure the reason these three men, with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh (can we get anymore camp here?), were so wise because they shared the love that dared not speak it’s name. So how might the gayness of the three wise men be an inspiring/forewarning story for all us homos? How can it help in today’s age? \for the obvious reason, – they knew each other. They shared a common interest – the stars – and this interest led them to get to know each other. The occasional coitus between astrologers was purely coincidental.  And it’s their love for the stars that makes a playing field for playful fun between men safe, and in my opinion deeper.

And my hi-pitched rant is about?

So, what I am trying to preach without preaching is, maybe the festive season should not be about the conquests and the challenges for the empty hi-five with your mates the next morning but the experiences lived with a holiday romance, transcending the idea of the lascivious gay man’s hedonistic approach towards sexual gratification into something far more perplexed and memorable when it comes to living out our salacious souls. This is not about keeping your dick in your pants but presenting the present as a gift, something special, something where the man receiving the mystery package can unwrap it like it’s his first Christmas prezzy ever, with excitement in his eyes. Let’s take Christmas back, if for no other reason than to ensure we all come out of it alive, and smiling.

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