Category Archives: Psychology

Do, do do, do-da, do-da

The bass that bounces from a sexy voice…
An imploding tap that manages to tick tock to the end…
Strings, harp? ding, ding, grrrring, ding
And still that voice is relentlessly bouncing on top of me…
and just as it dissipates into a sort of calm, a sax…the sax
Oh how it moans and groans at me…

Keep Me There – is the title of the song and appropriately so. It’s a song that urges you to hold it, keep it in, like tantric dancing. Don’t let it go, build it up, keep it simmering, don’t ever stop and never ever peak. It’s a really delicious song that encourages you to take a listen over and over again and then recreate a sort of scene in ones head that perfectly reflects exactly how the song makes you feel. For me it’s dancing… Albeit with a strong sexual undercurrent, but since when was dancing not a fluid act that demands sexual undercurrent?

Nicolaas Jaar’s 2011 album Space is Only Noise is worth a listen, but as many lyric-less music it tends to sort of blend together to form a jovial, easy listening sort of album. But Keep Me There is one that stands out and bashes me on my groove spine with a rhythm stick that sends little dancing quivers of sensual vibrations up and down my body. Every nerve is alive with a pent up explosion of dance euphoria.

So check it out.

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A theory.

So, back in the day it was illegal to partake in homosexual activities. So for years men have been struggling for their right to love freely. but things like glory holes, cottaging and park cruising is not something new. I’m sure it all really stems from the fact that one had to be completely discreet about it. So men would go to known cruising spots and wait for the next available man. Did they ever say no? Or was it a case of the next guy to give me the eye gets banged? I tend to believe that they were not picky and took whatever came along. Sometimes it was the most fantastic thing ever, other times it was a bigger let down than flocking to see any 3D film.

Now, that sort of callous anonymity has totally left the building. Things are free to be you and me… Or at least in the eyes of the law. But how does the older guys conduct effect our community today?

For one, which I am totally grateful for, it does have a clear line splitting the two generations. And any man born on or before 1980 is part of the older crowd I am talking about.
The second… These guys tend to have a sort of arrogance to the way they flirt at times, and not in that “working it” kind of way. rather they go in, so confident that they are going to get it And when they get turned down they completely flip out as if the man they were hitting on is not allowed a choice. Is it because back in the day there was no such thing as a choice? I’m not saying that older guys are arrogant for thinking they can hit on me, neither am I saying that younger guys think that there is always something better around the corner. What I am saying is, never get upset about being turned down. To the older men That get turned down and completely flip out, deal with it. It’s not all that horrific, it’s just a no. And to the guys that mmm, ahhh and ehhhh, just say no bro, some men can actually handle rejection. No biggie, right?

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The Protagonist

I stumbled onto this documentary called “The Protagonist” by Jessica Yu which I really had no idea what to expect. Without going into research mode and trying to find out more about the film I simply began watching. As it starts out we are introduced to two rather effeminate men so I immediately think it is going to be a gay doccie about battling our own personal demons but as the story moves along we find out that there are four characters. A self hating homosexual, an effeminate boy raised in a non violent home, a soft boy raised in a violent home and a boy who develops into a violent political guerilla.
Now the interesting point is that they are all very different people but there emotional connections to the choices they made in their own personal steps of life are identical. Son what I really enjoyed about this was the deeper look into us as men and what drives us to be what we want to be in the eyes of other men.
If you follow the men’s stories you will find how some facts contribute to two men (at least, sometimes all four) making a decision based on that fact, only different choices with different effects yet the same outcome. For instance, the homosexual man and the man that stabs his father in the neck (the soft boy in a violent home), both men are raised under strict religious conditions. The homosexual turns to God to “cure” his homosexuality and the other man turns away from God as he battles the idea of feeling good about defending himself and stabbing his father. The effect, they both become very destructive to people around them. The one trying to convince other gays they are sinners and the other terrorizing people in bank robberies. The end, they were both torturing themselves.
If you get the chance to watch this, go for it.

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